“I wish I could control my thoughts.”
“I just can’t stop thinking about it.”
“My thoughts are killing me!”
This is real life talk.
In books and quotes, they make it sound so easy.
“Control your thoughts, control your life.”
– Some curly haired Greek Guy
Yeah right. HOW?
Real life has real world problems. And things can get messy at times.
So today in this letter, we’ll go step-by-step. And figure out an actionable strategy you can use to control your thoughts.
Let’s start with the basics.
Now to control it, first you have to understand it. It’s like… if you want to win in a game of football, you need to learn the rules, practice on the field, and then you can win. It’s the same process.
And once you learn what it is, you can understand how it works and you can control it very easily.
Let’s dive in.
What is thought?
Thought is a reaction. Thought is a feeling to do something when you’re in a certain situation.
Let me explain.
Imagine you are watching a football game on TV and a McDonald’s ad comes up. The ads show you a big, juicy, cheese dripping burger.
What happens next?
It triggers the brain cells of hunger. And a thought is created.
This thought is made up of all the memories associated with that burger. And it starts attacking you from all angles, from all dimensions of your senses.
- The way it tastes.
- The way it smells
- The way it looks.
- The way feels in your hands.
And all of this happens in a fraction of a second. That’s the reason why thoughts are so powerful. They act up on you very fast.
They make you do things that you don’t want to do. They make you go places that you don’t want to go. They make you be with people you don’t want to be with.
However hard you may try to resist them, they won’t go.
And then what do you do? You order a burger from McDonald’s and then you hate it and then you regret it.
“I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Oh Lord. What did I do?”
“Why did I do it?”
“Not again!!”
And so on.
So, my point is,
Thought is like a snowball. You roll it and it keeps on rolling, and keeps on getting bigger and bigger. In the same way, when a thought gets triggered by something it keeps getting bigger and stronger in your head,
The more you try to resist it, the more you try to run away from it. The stronger it gets. No?
How can we stop this? It feels so difficult to do, isn’t it?
Because you’ve been in this situation sooooo many times. You’ve tried so many ways, but nothing happened.
Well, my friend, it’s time to put an end to it all.
Here’s what we do.
The 2 Step System to Control Your Thoughts
Imagine you are sitting in the driver’s seat of your car.
Now imagine that this car is your mind.
You are the driver.
And your thoughts are the steering wheel.
Right now, this car (your mind) is running on autopilot. But once you take control of the steering wheel (your thoughts), you can steer it in any direction (your goal) you want.
How can we achieve this?
We can achieve this through the tool called self-observation.
How self-observation helps is that it makes you see through things. It helps you to look at your thoughts from a distance, just like a bystander looking at a passing car.
Without getting run over by them.
Do you pay attention to every car that is passing by on the road? No!
There are 60 to 70,000 thoughts passing through your head every day. Some of these cars are BMWs and Mercedes, they attract attention. Some of them are Lamborghinis, they attract more attention.
But you always have a choice to let them pass.
Let me explain how to do that.
So imagine you’re back in the room again watching the game.
And the McDonalds ad comes up. Showing you the big, juicy, cheese dripping, mouthwatering burger.
Now what do you do at that moment???
It feels impossible to resist. It happens so fast that you don’t have time. No?
It happens fast. Yes, it does. But if you want to control something, if you want to learn something, you need to follow the rules.
I’m giving you the exact actionable TOOL that you can use. But it works in one condition.
USE IT.
Here are the 2 Steps to Control your Thoughts
1. Pause
Stop right there. For two seconds, just pause.
Now stretch the pause to five seconds to 10 seconds. Just pause. That’s awareness. Awareness is you detach yourself from that thought in that moment.
Stay, stay. Don’t do anything.
2. Self-talk
Yes. Have a self-talk.
Self-talk is the ultimate tool that you can use to detach yourself from a thought.
Now how do you do that?
So you tell yourself this: (And you can make up your own ‘self-talk’ that fits best)
“Hey I’m having a thought. THIS IS JUST A THOUGHT. I am having a thought of wanting to eat a juicy burger right now. I see you thought.
You little bastard, I see you.
I know what you are trying to do. But you know what? You’re not gonna win. I know all your little tricks. I’m not even hungry right now and you’re making me crave for this shit.”
And make sure you say it LOUD. Get pissed, get angry.
And let me tell you this, the moment you put yourself in this mental state through self-talk, you will instantly become calm.
You become a bystander, swearing at the cars.
What happens next?
The thought will weaken.
The power it had over you will diminish. And when you maintain this pause, this detachment for a few more minutes… the thought will disappear, completely.
Because you paused and gave it time to pass away.
You didn’t react. You ACTED on it. Consciously.
That’s the word – ACT. Always remember that. Not react but act.
It’s just a thought. It doesn’t have hands and legs. It’s not dragging you anywhere. No, it’s just a thought just like any other thought.
Here’s your key to control your thoughts:
PAUSE + SELF-TALK (Loud)
Train your mind. Controlling your thoughts is a skill like any other.
You can learn it. And it will give total control over your life.