Do you find it hard to let go of your past?

Old habits, old relationships, old friends, old toxic patterns?

Introverts can really have a hard time with this.

It may feel like you have no control over it.

Whenever you find yourself with people or in situations that are similar to your past, you lose all control. You respond in the same way as you did in the past.

And then you’re back at home, reflecting. Playing everything in your head on repeat and regretting what you did or said. Hoping you could respond in a different way.

You want to change. You want to stop thinking about it. You want to stop doing things you don’t want to do. You want to start fresh. But it feels impossible.

Then comes overthinking, anxiety, and weeks of sleepless nights.

If you can relate to the above feelings, I feel you.

I went through the same thing for a very long period of time in my life.

I did a lot of self-improvement, journaling, meditation, and inner work, but when it was time to act from the mental frame of ‘new’ me, I failed to do it.

My chest went heavy, and a choking feeling took over my body.

But after suffering and struggling for years, I healed myself.

I decided to end the relationship with my past. Once and for all.

Here is an insight that may help you:

 

Why is it so hard to let go

A solution to a problem comes from understanding the root of the problem.

A doctor asks you a bunch of questions or runs some tests before prescribing the medicine.

Solutions to personal problems work in the same way. You can solve any life problem by asking the right questions.

So let’s ask this question: Why is it so hard to let go of your past?

And the answers lie in the depths of your subconscious.

When we try to change ourselves, we’re using our conscious mind. But it’s the subconscious that really runs our lives.

The experiences that have touched you on a deep level leave wounds. And these wounds get triggered by anything that reminds you of that same past experience.

For example, if your parents were very strict and never allowed you to express yourself, you would develop a pattern of bottling up your real feelings.

Or if you grew up seeking validation from any parents, you repeat the same pattern in your relationships as an adult.

These patterns seep deep into your subconscious and become your default way of responding.

And your conscious mind is powerless when it confronts the subconscious mind.

To put it into perspective, your conscious mind is like a small monkey, while on the other hand, your subconscious mind is like a 700-pound silver-back gorilla. It stands no chance.

We have no direct access to our subconscious mind. That’s the reason we feel so out of control. Things just happen, and we have no idea what the hell is going on.

We just act like a pre-programmed robot with no free will.

And if you really think about it, it’s scary.

But there is a way out of it.

A way that can help you heal yourself and take control of your life. Permanently.

It will take some effort on your part. You have to do the work. But trust me, if you do, it will end this vicious cycle. Forever.

Let me show you how.

 

My First “NO”

I had the worst childhood trauma you could imagine. (I have talked about it in great detail in my upcoming book.)

I healed most of it with awareness and inner work, but what I really struggled with was saying no.

Here’s what happened.

A close friend of mine invited me on a hiking trip on the weekend. It was Thursday. I told him I’d let you know by tomorrow.

If he were alone, that would have been fine. But he also invited a couple of people that I didn’t really vibe with.

The whole evening, I kept thinking about it. I thought if I said no to him, he would feel bad. I couldn’t sleep at night.

The next morning, I was still thinking when he called. I was staring at the screen, not knowing what I should tell him.

I picked it up and said yes. And then I sat on my bed, hating myself.

While I was packing, it felt like I was going to someone’s funeral. I just threw in whatever I could get my hands on. I had absolutely no desire to go. None at all.

I was at the door. I turned. I looked at my room, my favorite couch, my books on the wooden shelf. The sunlight from the window. It felt like the whole world had paused.

I took out my phone and, with a racing heart and a choking throat, dialled my friend’s number. I told him something came up and I wouldn’t be able to make it.

This is what he said:

“Hey, is everything okay? No problem, bro. Take care”

WHATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

Seriously what?????

Is it that easy? Nothing happened. What was I thinking? He’s my friend. Why would he feel bad if I said no to him? Of course, he understood. Made perfect sense.

That was the first time in my life I learned… It’s okay to say no.

 

The WAY to let go of your past 

Imprint this in your brain: NO ONE CARES.

No one.

The scenarios we cook up in our brains are all mental. A figment of our imagination.

The way to overcome your old patterns is to realise they’re not real. None of it.

Your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions are nothing but you being consistent with how you’ve been acting in the past.

In psychology, it’s known as commitment and consistency bias.

It’s people’s strong desire to be—and to appear—consistent with what they have already done.

Once people have made a commitment or taken a stand, they feel pressure to behave consistently with that commitment.

And to become aware if this bias is healing.

I teach how to do it (healing old patterns and connecting with your authentic self) step-by-step in my course ‘Awakening‘.

To understand that people change. To understand that you don’t have to keep on acting in ways that destroy your mental health. To understand that it’s okay to change.

Don’t let your past decide your future. You’ve changed. You’ve grown. You’ve healed.

Stop doing things that drain you, and start doing things that nourish you.

Nothing and nobody is above your mental health.

Teach your mind to align with your current feelings, not the feelings of your past.

What happened, happened. Don’t force yourself to continue betraying your authentic self. Your heart knows what you want.

If not now, then when?

When are you going to live like YOU want?

How long are you going to sacrifice your needs for other people?

Haven’t you done enough?

It’s time, dear friend, to prioritise yourself. It’s time to start listening to your soul.

As I always say, if it drains you, it’s not for you. Always remember that.

Stay blessed,

– Master