Do you often hold back what you truly think or feel?
Does anxiety, overwhelm, and the need to be perfect feel like second nature?
Dear introvert, these are clear signs that you grew up walking on eggshells.
But remember, that’s not who you really are.
It’s a survival mechanism from your past, not a reflection of your true self.
Today, I will share with you why this happens and how to heal yourself.
When did it start?
Walking on eggshells starts in childhood.
Growing up with emotional unpredictable parents. Constant criticism. Conflict. Drama.
This can literally make physical changes inside our brain. And these neural changes forces us to respond not as rational adults, but based on our childhood experiences.
You learned to manage others’ moods. And avoided upsetting anyone at all costs.
In that environment, speaking your mind could invite rejection or anger.
To cope, you stayed quiet, anticipated others’ needs, and avoided attention.
Over time, these habits became part of who you are.
You believed being less than perfect wasn’t safe, and your worth depended on pleasing others or avoiding conflict.
How it affects your adult life
While these coping strategies helped you survive childhood, they can weigh heavily on your adult life:
- Constant anxiety: You’re always worrying about what others think. Fearing you’ve done something wrong. Even small interactions feel overwhelming.
- Overwhelm: You’re always feel under pressure to meet everyone’s expectations. At work. In relationships. In daily life. This feeling never leaves you.
- Perfectionism: You try to avoid mistakes at all costs. You believe perfection is the only way to feel safe or accepted. This leads to frustration and burnout.
- Self-silencing: You hold back your opinions. Your feelings. Your desires. Fearing conflict or rejection. This makes you feel invisible.
- People-pleasing: You prioritize other poeple’s needs over your own. This can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and low self-worth.
How to Start Healing
You don’t have to live like this anymore.
Your childhood is over. Gone.
You’re not the same person you were as a child.
You don’t need to earn your worth by being perfect and keeping others happy.
Your worth is already within you. Flaws and all.
Follow these simple steps to heal yourself and connect back with your authentic self.
1. Recognize your patterns
Awareness, awareness, awareness.
Carl Jung said,
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Which simply means enquiring your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Getting to the roots. Examining why you think or feel or act in a way that’s in conflict with your true self.
Notice when you’re holding back, people-pleasing, or striving for perfection.
Ask yourself: “What am I afraid will happen if I stop doing this?”
And answer will always be: to avoid rejection, failure, or conflict.
2. Challenge limiting beliefs
The beliefs you carry about yourself come from your early experiences.
For example:
- “I have to be perfect to be loved.”
- “My feelings don’t matter.”
- “If I disappoint someone, they’ll leave me.”
These beliefs aren’t truths, they’re fears.
Question them.
What proof do you have they’re true?
Nothing. You got nothing.
3. Learn to set boundaries
Boundaries protect your sense of self.
Say “no” to things that drain you.
Speak up when someone crosses a line.
Give yourself permission to rest.
Boundaries keep your mental health safe. And teach you to love yourself more.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s self-respect.
4. Practice self-compassion
Be kind to yourself.
Don’t criticise yourself for struggling.
Instead acknowledge that your coping mechanisms helped you survive in your childhood.
Remind yourself it’s okay to make mistakes, to rest, and to put your well-being first.
5. Reconnect with your inner child
Our inner child lives with us all though our lives.
And it remembers everything that happened to you.
Especially the part that feels unworthy or afraid.
Connect with it.
Sit alone and ask yourself this: “What did I need to hear when I was younger?”
Give yourself those messages now.
Use journaling to remind your inner child they’re loved and safe now.
Embracing your true self
As you let go of walking on eggshells, your authentic self will come into the light.
The real you beneath fear and coping mechanisms.
And once your connect with it, you’ll realize:
Your voice matters.
Your feelings are valid.
Your worth isn’t tied to perfection.
Healing isn’t about becoming someone new, it’s about rediscovering who you’ve always been.
I’ve been through this journey, and I’m speaking from experience, it will feel uncomfortable at first.
But trust me, it’s worth it.
Each step will grow your confidence in expressing your true self and living authentically.
Remember this:
You are enough.
You don’t have to earn your worth.
You don’t have to stay quiet.
You don’t have to put others first to deserve love and respect.
You are enough just as you. With all the flaws and imperfections.
Healing is giving yourself the love you’ve always deserved.
Stay blessed,
Karun
P.S: If you see yourself above, this book can help you with healing: “Born to Stand Out”.