Couple of weeks ago I binged-watched Adele’s live performances. It gave me a whole new perspective on life.
I’m a fan of Adele’s. I mean who isn’t. We’re lucky to be graced by that kind of voice (Ok, I’m going to stop fanboying now). There’s a video of her where she’s given a surprise. A middle school teacher came to visit her in the middle of her concert. She was her favorite teacher as she supported her talent when she was a kid (I’ll leave the link at the end).
That conversation was so real. I could feel it to my bones. After meeting her teacher and crying, she called up her best friend to take on the stage while she got her makeup redone. Right on the stage. It was hilarious. That kind of confidence is rare.
I was moved. I watched some of her interviews. And that’s when I observed something: She was the exact same person in real life as she was on stage (the best interview was 73 questions with Vogue which showed her whole personality). As an introvert, you can feel how real and genuine she is.
And yes, if you’re wondering, Adele is an introvert just like you.
Now after binge-watching her live concerts and interviews, I started reflecting on it. Why was I so attracted to her personality? It’s obvious she’s got a charming personality, but there was something deeper. And when I really pushed it, what I found shook me to my bones.
Okay, I’m going to be totally honest here: some part of me envied her. Those parts were very old. Maybe from my teenage years. So, why did I envy her? Because I saw myself in her personality. That part of me wanted to express itself just like she did. The part I had kept hidden for years.
We envy who we are (it’s deep, think about it later).
I only got to explore those parts when I started making YouTube videos back in 2019 (writing, acting and all). It was a crazy experience. I never knew I had it in me to do all that. That’s what really pushed me into taking the creative path full time.
Why didn’t I express my full personality? Because I had hundreds of them. It makes no sense. Right? Let me explain.
While growing up, our parents and society split our personality. We are taught and conditioned to treat different people in different ways. Act different in front of different people.
For example, when you are with your family, you’re different. When relatives visit, you have to act polite and kind. In school, you have to fake respect even when you don’t like the teacher. With friends, you’re at a totally different level of openness and vulnerability.
Have you seen a tiger not being a tiger at any moment? Every organism on this planet is completely rooted in its natural personality.
This constant changing of personality confuses our mind and body. Due to which we never build that rooted personality where the mind, body, energy, and your soul all act as one single unit with all people and at all times.
A lot of stress, anxiety, mood swings stem from this constant shifting of one personality to the other. It destroys our inner peace. It forces us to cage our true divine self and live as a watered-down version of ourselves. And after doing this shifting for years, you reach a stage in life where you have no clue what your real personality even looks like.
I lived that life for years. It was only after the age of 27 or 28 that I re-integrated all my different (fake) personalities into one. I rediscovered myself and undid years of societal conditioning.
Let me share with you how I did it.
How to reconnect with your true personality
Now I want you to pay careful attention. If you’re distracted, you won’t get it.
To reconnect with your true personality and to be able to express it, you have to understand the fundamentals. The core of your true personality lies within your essence. Every human being on this planet carries only two types of essence: Masculine or feminine.
It doesn’t matter what you identify with, there will always be one that will dominate the other. There are both dominant males and submissive males. The same goes for the females. The core of your essence cannot be ignored. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s how you are. You cannot change it. So, it’s better to accept it.
Now here is the most important part: if you don’t act in alignment with your dominant essence, you will never be able to express your real divine self.
So, rule #1 to express your real self is to act in alignment with your dominant essence (doesn’t matter if it’s masculine or feminine). Some people don’t do it out of fear and shame. What will people think? And it destroys you from the inside.
And a simple way to do it is to start acting in a way that feels natural.
For example, based on countless experiments, I know I’m 98% masculine. I cannot stand cheesy rom-coms. Nothing wrong with it ladies, I respect it. But it’s just how I am. On the other hand, I love watching mysteries, action thrillers, and sports dramas.
Trust me, doing just this one simple change in your life can bring out 80% of your true personality. You will be able to do things you thought you never could. People will be blown away by your new found charm.
Because what they see now is not just an ordinary person, but the divine masculine or the divine feminine. A whole being is 100% connected with their core.
Dear friend, it boils down to the fundamentals. And the fundamental is your true essence. Your mind, body, and soul are naturally aligned with your true essence.
People who have a dominant masculine essence will always want a partner who is more feminine and submissive. A person who has a more feminine essence will always want a partner who is more masculine and dominant. It’s not about being male or female, it’s about what kind of essence you have.
If you have a dominant masculine essence, you’d want to build things, create, invent, win, fight, conquer fields, countries or other planets.
If you have a dominant feminine essence, you’d want to nourish, heal, connect, love, raise a family, manage the house.
Look, don’t misunderstand me. If you like reading my newsletters, I know you’re an intelligent and highly self-aware person. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do the opposite, all I’m saying is to do more of where your true essence lies. This will not only give you peace and tranquillity, but will also improve your overall quality of life. Maintain a healthy balance. Make it 80/20.
If you want more clarity, read my book “Born to Stand Out”. It will help you understand yourself better and align with your true personality. I promise.
Acting opposite of your true essence is like a right-handed person trying to write with his left hand. It will only drive your nuts.
I hope you get the idea. So, open a notebook today, and write down with complete honesty (no one’s gonna read it), what you really like. Your likes and dislikes. What kind of life partner do you want. What kind of career do you want. Who you truly are from the inside.
You see, everything is connected to it. Because that’s who you are. And when everything aligns with your true essence, you will be able to express your real self. Effortlessly.
And above all, you will be able to live as the highest version of yourself.
Stay blessed,
Karun
Here’s the link to Adele’s hearfelt video, enjoy: