For introverts, saying no is a problem.

In my 20s, that’s what led me to drink almost every weekend.

And just like everybody else, I thought it was normal. I had been brainwashed by society into thinking that the only way you can be socially accepted is to gulp down a couple of beers, numb yourself, and blabber your way through the night.

I hated it. I absolutely hated it.

But, it felt impossible to have normal friendships without having a drink or two.

Every weekend, it took me almost a couple of days to get over it. And before I could get my head clear, it was Friday again. I was living with a constant brain fog. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What made it worse were the guilt trips.

The regret. The pain. The self-hate.

I was poisoning myself every weekend just to hang out with people who barely understood me.

And after years of abusing my mind, body, and soul, I realized this had to stop.

I was sacrificing too much. And what did I get in return? Nothing.

Hangovers, brain fog, headaches, anxiety, mood swings, and a lack of motivation.

So, one day I decided to talk it out with my friends. I thought they’d understand. But boy, oh boy, how wrong I was.

Here’s what I did.

It was evening. We were about to open the bottle. And I asked them,

“Why do we drink? Like, can’t we just hang out sober. Can’t we just have some coffee, order some food, and just chill?”

They looked at me like I was retarded. They all started laughing.

“Bro, how are we supposed to enjoy ourselves without drinking?” said one of them. 

I stayed silent.

That was the most life changing moment of my life.

Why you can’t socialize without alcohol 

Fear.

Fear of being left out. Fear of losing friends. Fear of what will people think.

The harsh truth is that drinking alcohol has become so common that if you’re not drinking, people see you as if there is something wrong with you.

And it’s especially hard as an introvert. We just can’t say no. Choking under the pressure of obligation, you submit. In order to keep your friendships going, you have no choice but to drink.

You think you are enjoying it. But be honest with yourself, do you?

Remember when you were a kid? You didn’t need anything. You were just happy and full of energy all the time. Everything was exciting. Everything was interesting. You didn’t need to have a drink to talk, play or have fun.

What happened?

What you still crave is a higher experience. Something that will take you away from your own mind. Something that can relieve this pain of existence.

We’re afraid to face reality the way it is. Because you see it as boring, dull, colorless, full of emptiness.

Alcohol gives it more colour, makes it more exciting, and helps you get out of your shell.

But, does it really do that?

No other animal on earth needs any kind of intoxication except human beings. Because they’ve accepted their life the way nature gave it to them. They’re happy with whatever experience they have.

You were like that too when you were little. Just life was enough. But culture and society conditioned us to believe that you need to drink something to have a higher experience.

Most of us are already sleeping. And alcohol is only deepening that sleep.

Dear friend, I am not asking you to stop drinking. I’m only trying to show you that you’re missing out on something way greater than alcohol can ever give you.

Something that can fill your whole being with pure bliss. 24×7.

And the day I experienced it for the first time, I never touched alcohol again.

The Greatest Intoxication 

“Live the full life of the mind, exhilarated by new ideas, intoxicated by the Romance of the unusual.”

– Ernest Hemingway 

The greatest source of intoxication is life itself.

Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Just do it right now.

Now, how do you feel?

That is life. The experience of being alive. You are life. And alcohol only takes it away from you.

Face this moment. Be absolutely still. Do you find anything wrong with it? Do you find anything missing?

The greatest intoxication is wakefulness. 

Being present. Here and now.

Not in your head.

Not thinking.

Not planning.

Not chasing goals.

Not chasing pleasures.

Not chasing people.

Not chasing validation.

Not chasing any kind of experience.

But, now.

You find it difficult to enjoy the present because you’ve been away from it for so long that now it scares you. And it’s not your fault. You were compelled by society to act. To follow. To chase. And that’s what made you forget who you are.

That’s what drove you away from your true essence. That’s what stops you from being able to live and enjoy life without any substance.

You can be high on life every single moment of your day, all you need is wakefulness. To get out of your head and face life the way it is.

Don’t run away from it, face it.

And when you accept the pains, and hardships of life and start living in the present, life will become a bliss instead of suffering.

It took me a very long time to get out of this vicious cycle of constant pain, guilt, and regret.

It took me a lot of sacrifices, but my goal was to get up higher and taste the real gifts of nature.

How to Socialize without Alcohol

Choose what you want.

Take a day off just to think about what it is that you are really running away from.

Here’s a secret: all your friends that you think you’ll lose if you tell them you don’t want to drink anymore may act a little weird, and may even laugh, but from the inside they envy you.

They wish they could be like you. They wish they had your courage to be able to enjoy life without numbing their senses.

But they don’t have the courage to speak up. They’ll give you all the reasons why they drink, all the benefits, and all the good feelings, but deep inside their hearts, they know it’s all a lie.

I still have my friend. They acted a little weird in the beginning, but eventually they accepted my choice.

And if they don’t and they start distancing themselves, they were not your friends in the first place, they were just your drinking buddies.

Choose life. Choose wakefulness.

Understand that you don’t need it, it’s just something you do to keep your friends. It’s all in your mind. They’re not going anywhere.

Choose yourself. Prioritize yourself. Act in alignment with your true self.

Do what your soul wants. That’s all that matters.

Because once you get high on life and experience the intoxication of the present, trust me, you’d never want anything else.

Nothing can match that experience. Ever.