Have you ever felt like you’re absolutely sure about something, your gut may be screaming at you to do it, do it! but there’s this feeling inside you that doesn’t let you.
You work for weeks on something and when it’s time for action, you self-reject the whole idea. You start thinking it was a bad idea. And you give up on it.
This must have happened to me at least 500 times in my life.
But there was this one time that flushed out every cell of self-doubt out of my mind and body.
It was the time when I had quit my screenwriting job and was contemplating the direction of my life.
I was sick and tired of working with people who had no sense of filmmaking. So I had two choices. Either start making films independently, where I could have total control. Or find something else to do.
I wanted to make films, but it was impossible to do it alone. You need a crew, actors, a DOP, and all that. You have to deal with people and their egos. And it was the latter that drove me nuts. So I decided to drop the whole idea.
I needed something to give an outlet to my inner-writer. To express myself without filters. Without censoring my creative flow.
And suddenly, out of the blue, I got this brilliant idea: I am going to write a novel.
That was the ultimate dream. A published writer. I calculated how much money I could make. It wasn’t much. But I was ready to settle for less than having to deal with people and everything.
After spending days thinking about what to write, I zeroed in on science-fiction.
I was full of hope. Full of enthusiasm. Excited. Motivated. I was living the dream.
I’m a big fan of the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami. In one of his books, he described his routine. How he wakes up at 4 a.m. to write because that’s the time you can make use of your subconscious directly to pull out stories.
It was October 3, and I set my alarm for 4 a.m.
I woke up at 4 every single day for the next three months. I wrote for 4 hours every day. And I was clocking in about 1000 to 1500 words every day.
On December 30, I wrote the final line of my novel. It was done. About 85,000 words. It was a feeling that could not be put into words.
I was in the middle of editing the book when this demonic voice whispered in my ear…
“It’s not good enough. Why would people read you when there are so many great fiction writers out there? You are nothing. Nobody.”
Something dropped inside me. I was staring at my screen. Fingers frozen on the keys. It was over.
The Antidote to Self-doubt
Self-doubt creeps in when you become too concerned about the fruits of your actions.
When you allow your mind to wander into the future and try to predict it. You can’t. It’s impossible.
And when you fail to do it, this uncertainty gives birth to anxiety, fear, and a feeling that you’re not good enough.
You have no way of knowing whether it will work out or not. And to gain that certainty, you start comparing yourself to other people. Because that is the only way to get an idea about whether your work is good or not.
But that’s a recipe for failure. When we compare, we only focus on the good parts of the people we compare ourselves to. We forget that they are humans too. They also struggle, and make mistakes. But that never crosses our minds.
There is only one antidote to self-doubt: ACTION.
You can try all the clever ways, but trust me, there is no other way.
I have no magic pill that can erase your self-doubt. I wish I had. But I don’t. But what I have is an understanding of how you can save yourself from getting into the spiral of self-doubt.
After contemplating for years, and repeating the same mistakes over and over again, I learned my lesson.
And out of these lessons, I gained 3 important insights. And I hope these insights may help you overcome self-doubt and motivate you to take action.
Insight #1: Act or regret. You choose.
There are two kinds of pain.
- The pain of facing the world, putting yourself out there, and taking action.
- Or the pain of regret.
You cannot escape both. You have to face one of them.
And with what I’ve experienced, taking action is always a better choice. There are no failures in life, there are only lessons. And these lessons are what help you improve yourself. And get ahead in life.
If you run away from taking action, you’ll never find out what you’re capable of. What could’ve been a great possibility gets crushed before it can grow into something extraordinary.
Stop running away. Just act.
Insight #2: Never Compare yourself
I believe everyone is a genius. A genius in their own way.
The way you do one thing cannot be imitated by anyone else in the world. That’s your genius. That’s what makes you different.
Comparison kills that genius. That potential remains unexpressed. The seed is discarded before it could bloom into a beautiful flower.
What it needs is nourishment. Trust. Self-belief.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,
“In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”
Comparison destroys your potential. It destroys your confidence. And it fills your soul with a feeling of inferiority.
Trust yourself. Trust in the way you do things. Trust in your own genius. And fearlessly share what moves your soul.
Insight #3: Focus on the actions, not the results
Ask yourself this:
“Can I ever know if something is going to work or not?”
The answer is always no.
The only thing that is in our control is to act and give our whole being to that action. Do the best we can. Put in all our talents, skills, and hard-work.
Because the more your mind is focused on the result, the less energy will be available to act.
But when the mind is totally focused on the action, no energy is lost. All that energy enhances and enriches the quality of your action.
And naturally, when the quality of your action is high, the results will be above your expectations.
Forget about what’s going to happen, just focus on what’s in front of you. That alone is enough.
That’s all there is.
That unedited draft is still living inside my laptop. And now and then, I go back to it, read a few lines, and every time I do it, I say to myself,
“This is so good, why didn’t you publish it you fool.”
Maybe one day I will. Maybe.
PS: The “Actualised Potential Program” is open for enrolment for the 3rd quarter. This is an exclusive one-on-one program for a select few. I only take in 3 people at a time.
As an introvert, if you want to discover your skills and talents, build confidence to get out of your shell, share your gifts with the world, and actualize your highest potential, you’re welcome to join the program by July 10.
Click HERE for more details.