We all experience stress of one or the other kind on a daily basis.
– Waking up with a alarm even when your body is crying for rest
– That excruciating commute to work
– Meeting deadlines
– School, exams, jobs, rent and groceries
And as an introvert, sometimes all you want is to disappear into the woods, sip tea, and stare at nature for a month straight.
I get it. I’m just like you. I’ve felt those things.
But there were moments in my life where I felt at peace. No thoughts. No feelings. No stress. Just peace.
I’ve been thinking about it for the last few weeks. Is there a way we can be at peace at all times even with all this chaos?
And I instantly got the answer: Leave everything, become a monk, and move to the woods. It was tempting (trust me, I’ve thought about it countless times). But I also believe that life is meant to be lived despite all the hardships instead of running away. So, I had to find an alternate way.
And I believe I have the answer now. I’ve known it for years, but now I understand it. Now I’m living it.
Now what I’m going to share with you today is very nuanced. It will take an open mind to grasp the essence of what I’m about to share. And trust me, if you pay attention and think about it later, it will make complete sense.
Let’s dive in.
The Secret to a Peaceful Life
When you ask yourself the question “Who am I?” (I’ve asked this atleast 5000 times, I’m not kidding). The first answer that comes to mind is the identity that is given to you by the world or that you choose for yourself. Like your name, your gender, your occupation, or any spiritual term told by a guru.
Now before I reveal to you the secret, let’s quickly understand how this identity is built through two simple examples.
So, on one hand imagine Taylor Swift an extremely popular celebrity and on the other hand imagine Peter who is a school teacher.
Taylor was born into a well-to-do family, went to school, was given positive validation for her singing which further boosted her confidence in her gift, and 20 years later she’s one of the most recognizable faces on the planet.
Peter was born into a middle class family, went to school, maintained good grades, got his masters, 20 years later, he’s a school teacher.
But let me tell you this, Taylor and Peter both experience stress. Taylor may stress about being paid $99 million instead of a $100. And Peter may stress about, well, mostly about his three kids’ college fees.
On a very fundamental level, they’re the same. They have a body and an identity (how they perceive themselves). And they face problems and experience stress based on those identities.
This attachment to a specific identity is what keeps us trapped in the world of suffering. Peace comes when you let go of this identity and realize you are nothing but an observer.
This is what Buddha meant by detachment. Whenever you experience anything that is not in alignment with your identity, you experience suffering.
Now what’s more interesting is that there is not just one but thousands of these identities living and breathing inside you.
For example, Peter suffers:
– If a student disrespects him, his identity as a school teacher takes a hit.
– If his kid says anything mean, his identity as a father takes a hit
– If a colleague doesn’t invite him on his birthday, his identity as a friend takes a hit
– If he doesn’t get a raise, his identity as a hard-working teacher takes a hit
Now it’s a bit nuanced, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying he should not straighten up the students, call out his kids, or ask for what he deserves. All I’m saying is that these things should not affect him on the inside. It should not impact his inner peace.
These experiences should not create a feeling inside his heart that: I’m not good enough.
The secret to a peaceful life is the awareness that you’re not your body, your thoughts, your emotions, your ego, or your occupation, you’re the observer.
These things are not happening to you, these things are being observed by you. Read that again. Now think about it. You’ll know.
René Descartes said: “I think; therefore I am.”
Which simply means your existence is based on what you identify with. If you remove that identity, what’s left is absolute consciousness or the observer.
If you’d like to learn more about how these identities are shaped and control our lives and how you can separate yourself from it and gain more self-control in your life, you can try my 30-Day course “Awakening“.
Have you ever wondered, when someone passes away, why do we say rest in peace. Because our identity dies with our body. And when the identity dies, all that’s left is eternal peace.
Dear friend, eternal peace is available to you right now. It doesn’t matter which identity you’ve chosen for yourself, remember that it’s for your body and to survive in the world, it’s not for your soul.
This image above encapsulates the essence of what I shared today. We are all one universe pretending to be individuals.
And once you realize this truth, you’ll live in peace. Forever.
Stay blessed,
Karun