Heart or mind?

This one can really drive a person crazy.

Especially introverts with their overthinking minds and oversensitive hearts.

The mind is powerful. Logical. Rational. Imaginative. Like a math professor.

The heart is silly. Crazy. Mad. Irrational. Like a starving artist.

Sometimes logic works, so we start following the mind. Sometimes emotions work, so we start following our hearts.

This was something that had kept me awake countless nights.

I really wanted to get to the root of it and be done with it. Once and for all.

One day I came across this saying:

“Always follow your heart, but take your mind with you.”

It sounds fair enough. But does it really work that way?

I tried. But the confusion never left me. When should I use my heart? When should I use my mind?

There are no rules. No pattern to it. No?

And as they say, experience is the greatest teacher.

Only when you have experienced something over and over can you know what really works and what doesn’t.

So, as always, I started experimenting. I had to solve this puzzle. No matter what. It was driving me crazy.

And after years of switching between the heart and mind in countless situations, what I found was life-changing.

Let’s dive in.

 

The 3 Big Questions

The 3 most important things in our lives are:

– What you choose as a career

– Who you choose as a life partner

– Where you choose to live

If you get any of them wrong, it can literally make your life hell.

Naturally, a lot of thinking goes into it. I was no different.

Now, you may give priority to any of them.

For me, it was a career. I know I have an obsessive personality. Once I decide on something, I go all in. And there is no turning back. No matter what.

So, naturally, I was very concerned about dedicating my life to something. I didn’t want to invest 10 years of my life in something and find that it was not for me.

That would’ve destroyed me.

Here was my goal: Find the kind of work that feels like play and also pays the bills. 

Simple.

Now, whenever we find ourselves in that kind of situation, what do we do? We start searching outside.

That’s exactly what I did.

By then, I had figured out that writing was my strongest skill. All I needed was to find an outlet. A way to leverage it.

I read books. I met some writers. I asked some experts.

I loved movies. And I loved fiction. And I had a good sense of storytelling.

It felt like a match made in heaven. Everyone knows movies pay big money. And I knew how to write.

That was it. Done. I found my purpose. Easy breezy.

I read every book that was ever written on screenwriting. From Aristotle’s ‘Poetics’ to Robert Mckee’s ‘Story’. 

I watched all the best movies made in the last 100 years.

It took me about 8 to 10 months. That’s all I did. Watch movies and just read, read, and read.

Trust me, I had made so many notes from watching films and reading books that I could have taught screenwriting in a film school. And as an introvert, you know I’m not exaggerating.

I went into 100% crazy obsessive mode.

I got myself an agent. I wrote a few plays and movies.

After a couple of years of struggle, I started making a decent amount of money.

But I was not happy.

I was working with extremely talented and intelligent people. I was making money. I was free to write whatever I wanted.

But it still didn’t feel right.

3 years later, I was out.

I could have become a multi-millionaire in 10 years. I had it in me. I knew it.

But it felt like I was betraying my soul.

Call me crazy, but I couldn’t do it.

Fame and money are fine, but there was a calling that I had been ignoring for all that time.

And when I finally paid attention, it hit me like a brick in the face.

 

Only the heart knows…

In the course of those 3 years, I won’t say I didn’t like it.

It felt good. But only for my ego.

The reason was that I made the decision to become a screenwriter based on my mind.

I did all the research. I analysed the pros and cons like a true introvert.

And I have no shame in denying that I did it for the money.

But in the midst of all that, there were moments where I was still questioning my decision.

Which ideally should not be there.

Seriously, why?

If I had decided to do something and felt that was my life’s purpose, I shouldn’t be questioning it, no?

But I did.

That ‘WHY’ forced me to delve into the depths of my psyche.

And that’s when I figured out what I was doing wrong.

The answer was… I ignored the voice of my heart.

When I asked myself this question: What do I really want?

The answer was very simple. I just wanted to work alone.

No people. No pressure. No deadlines.

Just pure creation.

Doing what I want to do. And do it on my terms. Whenever I want.

But that career didn’t align with my heart.

I had to compromise. Fit in. Sometimes I even had to force myself. Which just didn’t feel right.

I’ve been writing for almost 3 years on Twitter. And not ever for a moment had I questioned my choice. There hasn’t been a single dull moment.

Because it gave me the freedom to do things MY WAY.

It gave me absolute freedom to be myself.

Because it was the way of my heart.

The heart knows. In some unexplainable way, it just knows.

I have no words to describe how it knows. But it just does.

And through my experiments and experience, I have come to realise that you cannot rationalise the way of the heart.

It follows no logic. No pattern. No proven ways. But it  just knows what will keep you happy in the long term.

It knows what will give you true fulfilment.

And above all, it knows why you were born in this world.

And I’ll leave with this insight…

Dear friend, only the heart knows the true purpose of your life; the mind can only guess.