One last donut.
One last Netflix episode.
One last drink.
The mind just loves feeling gooooooooood.
It’s like a monster living inside you with an insatiable appetite for pleasure. You let it off the hook for one moment, and before you know it you’ve already ordered chicken wings, skipped the workout, watched 2 hours of porn, 3 hours of Netflix, 4 hours of reels, and it’s now 2.34 am.
You’re staring blank at the ceiling. Empty. Chips, ashes, smoke, pizza crumbs all around. And your soul shattered into a million pieces.
And it’s especially hard when you’re an introvert. A thinker. When your whole world is your mind.
You want to change.
You want to succeed.
You want to hit your goals.
You want to reach your highest potential.
But your emotions drag you back to your old thoughts. And you keep on repeating the same shit over and over and over.
You want to feel good. Understandable. Who doesn’t?
But this desire to “feel good” is like taking a roller coaster ride. You get on, enjoy the ride, and get off. The moment you get off, it’s over.
But the mind liked it, so now it wants to experience it again. And again. And again.
It’s a never ending cycle.
Why you can’t stop
Allen Carr, in his book, “The Only Way to Stop Smoking Permanently”, tells the story of a woman who stopped smoking for 20 years.
She was at a high school reunion party, and most of her friends were smoking. Even though she had quit smoking for 20 years, she was getting triggered to light up. But she didn’t.
After dinner, she was at the table with an old friend. Her friend lit up and offered the pack. That after dinner cigarette used to be her favorite. It just hit different. All those memories rushed into that single moment.
She took it.
20 years, and she still couldn’t resist.
The mind never forgets. Especially the things that made you feel good.
Sex.
Porn.
Junk food.
Alcohol.
Shopping.
And whenever your mind is in that same environment (or gets the cue, as they say in psychology), it will not stop until you finish the whole cycle.
It will keep driving your emotions wild. It will give you anxiety. It will not let you focus. Because that cycle is ingrained in your subconscious. And it needs closure. And it will do everything to make you repeat it.
This is the real matrix. It’s mental, not physical. Where your own mind uses you for the gratification of its pleasures.
You can lose 20 pounds.
You can make $100k a month.
You can date the person you like.
You can create the life you dream about.
You can end this chain of constant regrets. Constant failures and pain. You can stop hating yourself for not living up to your full potential.
You can live your best life simply by shifting your perspective.
The Perspective Shift for an Intentional Life
Change happens when you feel the pain.
When you stop running away from yourself. When you block all the escape routes and coping mechanisms. When you put away all your distractions for an hour, a weekend, or a whole week and sit with yourself in a quiet room.
When you actually do that, you’ll clearly see what you’re running away from. It’s something you need to do, but you’re avoiding it. Because it’s painful. Because it’s difficult.
Waking up at 5 am and working on your goals is painful.
Hitting the gym 5 days a week is painful.
Cooking every day is painful.
Not eating sugar is painful.
Working for a whole year, 7 days a week, 8 hours a day, to build your online business is painful.
That’s what you’re running away from. It’s hard work. I get it.
But who’s going to do it?
How long will you keep running away like this?
I struggled with it too. For years, I kept running.
But then, I DECIDED to switch off this low-vibe autopilot mode and take back control of my life. And I built a system for myself.
And it worked wonders for my life. And it worked because I promised myself, no matter what, I’d stick with it.
I created this system based on two simple rules:
RULE 1: I’m the SELF, not the Mind
“The mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.”
– Robin Sharma
This was the most powerful insight that helped me change my behavior.
If I wanted to smoke, it was my mind, not me.
If I wanted to stay in bed, it was my mind, not me.
If I wanted to spend the weekend drinking instead of working on my purpose, it was my mind, not me.
I stopped identifying with the mind. I detached myself from the mind and started seeing it as separate from who I was.
What ‘I’ or the SELF wanted was to grow, evolve, improve, and master my skills. I wanted to become the best version of myself. I wanted to live up to my full potential.
But on the other hand, the mind was just a pleasure chaser. It was like a close friend who’s low-key jealous of you and finds clever ways to distract you from your goals.
But I shifted my perspective. From being used by the mind to consciously using the mind. I took back my power. From the servant, I became the master. (Now you know the story behind my name.
Rule 2: Stoic indifference
“It is what it is”
“You’ve gotta do what you gotta do”
“Ah, whatever”
These became my mantras. My weapons to fight resistance.
You don’t need two-hour podcasts to get yourself going, sometimes all you need is a little nudge.
This is how I self-talk:
“5 am, I’m still sleepy, but ah whatever. Get up.”
“It’s Saturday, I haven’t eaten for like 20 hours now, but I’m not getting up before I finish this newsletter. I’m hungry. It’s painful. I feel it. I’m aware of it. But, you’ve gotta go do what you gotta do.”
“I fell down some stairs. It’s painful. But, it is what it is. It will go away in a couple of days. Keep working.”
It’s not easy. I get it. But, you have to learn to suffer pain and difficulty without complaining.
Trust me, after a while, you start enjoying the pain of discipline.
That’s all you need.
An awareness of your true SELF and a Stoic indifference to your own thoughts, emotions, and circumstances.
Accept the pain and hardships of life. Don’t run away.
Say it out loud,
Yes, it’s difficult.
Yes, it’s painful.
Yes, I absolutely hate it.
But, whatever. It is what it is. And you’ve gotta do what you gotta do.
That’s life.